


Afraid

by Mistress_Kalamity



Series: Epilepsy Awareness [1]
Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Absence, Epilepsy, Epilepsy Awareness, F/M, Gen, Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy, TC Seizure, Tonic - Clonic Seizure, child!tom, medical complications, myoclonic, teen!Bill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-29 22:14:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8507461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistress_Kalamity/pseuds/Mistress_Kalamity
Summary: Tom used to love his older brother, Bill





	

**Author's Note:**

> So my brother requested this one and I said why the fuck not? It is epilepsy awareness month and I like writing cute shit like this. So here you fuckers go.

Tom loved his older brother. From the moment he was born, he’s been abnormally attached to his skinnier, paler older brother. If you look between the two you’d see a definite difference; the way Tom’s almond shaped eyes seemed slightly wider than his older brother. His older brother was also a lot paler than he was and that’s without all the makeup her slathered onto his face each morning to his family’s confusion. Tom idolized him anyway. Everything Bill did was edgy or completely out of this world to Tom. He admired his brother’s constant elegancy in school, acing all of his exams and passing all of his classes, his brother was no joke. Billie was the most amazing thing in the world to him. Notice I keep saying was. You see....that all changed when Tom saw Billie the way he wasn't supposed to see. One day after school, Tom came home early. His mother was in the kitchen, talking with the teacher asking why she had to pick up her son because they fed him something disgusting and it made him sick, the poor 8 year old. His tummy was aching and lying on the couch did nothing but make the cramps worse so he hops to his tiny feet and runs up the stairs hoping to find his stronger older brother. He wanted to cuddle with him, he wanted to be with him. He opens the door and there’s his stronger older brother on the bed reading a book. He walks over to the 16 year old and climbs into the bed next to him, placing his head on his lap. Bill puts down his book and starts combing his fingers through his little brother's long dirty blonde hair.

 

“What’s the matter, kiddo?” He chuckles. Tom looks up at his brother, whose eyes are ringed black with kohl liner. 

 

“I puked at school today because the chicken fingers were spoiled,” the tiny 8 year old moans.

 

“Aww, kiddo. That sucks. Here lay on your back, I’ll rub your tummy.” Tom eagerly rolls over with his head still on Bill’s lap while his older brother starts doing mini circles on his stomach. Oh how he loved with Bill would do this when he got a tummy ache, the contour of Bill’s fingers were delicate enough to really massage his tummy when he rubbed it in circles. Tom would slightly moan at the shear comfort her got from the simple motion. “That feel better?”

 

“Yeah,” Tom moans. He gets all comfy and gently starts to fall asleep on Bill’s lap, knowing his older brother is watching over him. He falls gently into a deep sleep when he’s jolted awake by his brother’s body. He opens his eyes and sees that Bill has pulled his hand away to pinch at a nerve between his eyes. He groans slightly, beckoning Tom to get off his lap for a moment. The eight year old obliges and pops up off of him and crouches to his knees next to him.

 

“Are you alright,” Tom asks, his voice small and timid.

 

“Mhmm. I just need a second.” Bill stands up and goes to the door. Tom notes that he’s staggering as he travels across the room. He gets to the door, taking a moment before opening it. He gets out into the hall and Tom is curious but doesn’t move a muscle. He hears a weird vocalization in the hall and a large thud, then several feet running up the stairs. He still doesn’t move. Not until he hears his father’s booming voice say “Dammit! Not another one, this is four this week!” The tiny child thrusts from his bed to see his brother sprawled out on the floor, body contorted and rigid on the ground, saliva pouring out his mouth. He is frozen in his stare because he had never seen this before. His mother was timing the event while rubbing his thigh and his father was carefully holding him on his side. Tom’s little body gets closer as he’s even more curious as to why he’s brother’s doing that. But once he’s closer he’s even more horrified as his brother’s now convulsing and the way his limbs spasm out of his control make him appear to be getting electrocuted and dying. Tom noticed he was wetting his pants and he just couldn’t take seeing his brother like this. He turned on his heels and ran all the way to his room. “Thomas, wait, sweetie!” His mother called after him. She couldn’t stop her youngest son from bolting to his room. He didn’t know what else to do. That scary thing his brother was doing was not how his brother was supposed to be. He is scared of his brother. That wasn’t his brother anymore. 

 

Days after that event, Tom put a great distance between them. Always eating really fast so he didn’t have to be near him during family meals. He opted to take the school bus instead of being driven to school every day and he didn’t go into Bill’s room anymore. His parents notice his behavioral changes and are worried on how this is going to emotionally affect Bill. His adores his little brother and couldn’t bare to be separated from him. He didn’t like that Tom was putting distance between them but he didn’t want to confront his little brother about it, in fear that he’d lash out. Simone pulled her husband to the side one night when the kids were asleep and beckoned him to speak with her on the issue between Tom and Bill, an issue she felt went undiscussed for far too long. “You know what I want to talk about, right?” She sighs to him finally. 

 

“Tom and the crater of space he’s put between himself and his brother, yeah I was hoping we could discuss that too,” he nods. She exhales and they both sit down on the bed to think about what they could do to fix the relationship between their sons. “Do you think Bill’s seizure, I don’t know, scared him?” the worried father asks.

 

“It could’ve. I think we should just talk to him. We didn’t tell him what _that_ was or even talked to him about _it_. I think now is as good at time as any,” Simone sighs. Jorg nods in agreement and pulls his wife into a hug. She hated that yet again she had to explain her baby to someone. Bill isn’t the healthiest of children but he tries his best. He’s a great student, child and older brother. It crushed her that her baby was plagued by a disorder such as his but he manages it well. This past week hadn’t been good for him and he was succumbing for quite a bit but she can feel that the rut of it is over because he hadn’t had any more seizures since the one Tom first witnessed. He’s her stable baby again once more. The tired couple falls asleep cuddled up with each other that night, hoping that when they speak with their youngest he will once again adore his brother and forget that he had an uncontrollable illness he must carry around like a fanny pack his entire life. Simone woke up early, making breakfast for the entire family feeling grateful that it’s Saturday. Her sons both come downstairs followed by their father, all hypnotised by the smells illuminating from the kitchen. She makes everyone’s plates and sits down at the table. They say grace and start to dig into the food before them. Simone makes eye contact with her husband before she washes her food down with orange juice and clears her throat. “Tommy, I wanted to talk to you about what you saw the other day,” she smiles. Tom stops eating and looks up at his mother.

 

“What about it?” He asks, food tucked into his tiny cheek. His hazel eyes catch his mother’s kind gaze as she wipes her whole mouth with a napkin.

 

“Well your father and I suspected that it may have shaken you up and...we wanted to talk to you about it so you understand what it was you saw a bit more,” she clarifies. Tom swallows his mouth full and looks at his brother. Bill smiles shyly and turns back to his food. He couldn’t meet his little brother’s gaze. Not now. Not when he didn’t understand. Not until the fear escaped his eyes. Not until those eyes washed with love and adoration. 

 

“Well, what happened?” Tom asks turning back to his parents. 

 

“You see, your brother has something called Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy and sometimes he has something called seizures like what you saw the other day,” she explains, smiling.

 

“Does that happen a lot?” the curious child questions.

 

“No, of course not. Most of the time it's just absence seizures or myoclonic jerks. The larger ones like a few days ago are rare with his condition,” Jorg pipes up. 

 

“What do those do?”

 

“Well uh, do you remember when you and I were putting that puzzle together and I stopped for about a minute and stared?” Bill this time pipes up. Tom looks at his brother with his razzled dyed black hair all in his face, sticking at awkward angles from hairspray that didn't melt away with sweat during his sleep. He nods when he remembers the moment and Bill smiles. “Well that was an absence. Uh, and the time when I kind of flinch when we played mario kart, that was a myoclonic jerk. I’ve done these things around you a lot and it didn’t scare you then, did it?”

 

“No, not really,” Tom shrugs, shaking his head.

 

“So can you still love me even though my brain’s a little broken?” Tom looks up at his brother and the light in his eye changes. Remember when I said everything changed. Well, it did. Tom no longer loved his brother, he worshipped him. His amazing brother not only did his best to be the best, he also battled a neurological disorder. He is even stronger than little Tom thought and that increased his love for him even more. He scoots his chair over until he’s practically on top of his older brother and finishes his breakfast nuzzled into him. He watches as he takes his medication and then he follows him back up to his room so they can work on another puzzle after a quick shower. Tom liked showering with his older brother because it felt safer for him because he isn’t as tall his brother. With wet hair and warm pajamas, both brothers sat on the carpeted floor of Bill’s room working on a dinosaur puzzle. Simone looks in on her boys with a smile on her face, a few happy tears running down her face. She walks back into her room and greets her husband with a smile. 

 

“We have....amazing boys,” she smiles.

 

“I know we do,” Jorg agrees. She climbs into bed with her husband knowing that her children were safe in the other room looking out for each other.


End file.
